There is no description. Sorry. Now go away.
Vanity Fair broke what should have been the most exciting story of the year -- the identity of Deep Throat. But like Jon Stewart said on the 'Daily Show' -- "Deep Throat is (dramatic pause) a guy you've never heard of!" Ah, how typical.

Well, now I'm irritated. I always pictured Deep Throat to be a mixture of the Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files and James Bond. He was supposed to be the coolest of the cool, not an FBI bureaucrat angry with Nixon over the president's treatment of FBI assets. It's a letdown, like getting socks for Christmas.

At least I understand why Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, and Ben Bradlee kept this guy a secret for so many years. It wasn't because they wanted to protect his identity -- it was because they knew that the truth could never be as cool as the mystery. I mean, Woodward and Bernstein got to be played in a movie by Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman. This W. Mark Felt guy might be best played by Paul Reubens. How disappointing.

What's amusing is that such a wonky character could bring King Evil down. But then again, Nixon's own legend is much more exciting than his reality -- so it's fitting that the main character in the saga, named after a porno, is really just a senile old man living out in California.

Here's to mysteries -- and may they never be revealed.

Comments
on Jun 07, 2005
...but wouldn't ya hate for your 15 minutes of fame to be over at 92 and go down in history as, not only a snitch, but nicknamed after Linda Loveless' only real talent? Kinda sad...
on Jun 07, 2005
I guess the guy got Hal Holbrook to play him...probably still gives him morning wood...